Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone.
You’re just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue,
“Yeah can I take your digits?”
And you’re like, “no not in a million years, you’re nasty
please leave me alone.”
Cut to the pub on a lads night out,
Man at the bar cos it was his shout,
Clocks this bird and she looks ok,
Caught him looking and she walks his way,
“alright darlin, you gonna buy us a drink then?”
“err no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend…”
She’s got no taste hand on his waste, tries to pull away but her lips on his face,
“if you insist I’ll have a white wine spritzer”
“sorry love, but you ain’t a pretty picture.”
Can’t knock em out, can’t walk away,
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you cant have me number,
Because I’ve lost my phone.
Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m pregnant, having a baby in like 6 months so no, and yeah, yeah…
“I recognise this guy…”
That’s what she’s thinking,
As he comes over her heart starts sinking,
“oh here we go..”
It’s a routine check that she already knows, she’s thinking they’re all the same.
“yeah you alright baby? You look alright still, yeah what’s your name?”
She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag, can’t find a light,
“you see the thing is I really don’t have the time.”
Go away now, let me go,
Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?
Go away now I’ve made myself clear,
Nah it’s not gonna happen,
Not in a a million years,
nah I’ve gotta go cos my house is on fire,
I’ve got herpes, err no I’ve got syphilis…
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